Jealousy & Relationships: Perfect for Each Other?

*sings* LOYALTY. LOYALTY. LOYALTY.

That new K Dot album is flames. But that’s not why we’re gathered here today.


“Phone face down can’t trust her”

Let’s get right into this…

It seems like jealousy has become an acceptable part of a relationship. We just assume that it comes with the territory, especially us women. It comes off as “true love” when he’s all in your phone conversation while you’re gossiping with your girls. It’s because he’s so attached to you that he doesn’t want you going out socializing without him…especially not with your SINGLE FRIENDS *dun dun dunnnn!*

What we should really be doing is calling a spade, a spade or rather a possessive psycho, a possessive psycho.

There are multiple sides to this coin of ownership within relationships and different experiences and tastes will cause you to form your own opinion on it but it’s centered around asking yourself some questions:

Do I not feel adequate or are they not making me feel adequate?

Should I feel a sense of ownership over someone else?

Do feelings of possession bring a sense of comfort?

I’ve dealt with jealousy in many forms and I’ve been wayyy too guilty of it myself. But it never truly felt like something that was a natural feeling for me. In some ways, if I’m honest, it was often in response to the other person’s jealousy. Basically, there were times when I was acting out in jealousy because I wanted the other person to feel how I felt. Ridiculous right?

But I did it. & I’ve gone through phones and social media, drove by the house at night, googled addresses, downloaded spy apps, logged into my best friend’s Facebook– all of that.

Why though? Why is there jealousy in romantic relationships in the first place and what do we do?

One easy answer is that some of us are dating the the wrong people, frankly. Most of us think we know what we want, especially the mid-late twenty somethings. What we find is that even when we kind of realize that someone isn’t right for us we ride it out until the scary, bitter, jealous rage-filled end. Trust, is another obvious flag flapping in the wind of a flawed relationship. Jealousy isn’t love, it’s mistrust and insecurity that has manifested itself all up in your bond with your partner. But there’s also this, some people are just inherently jealous due to other character flaws within themselves. They are insecure and constantly seeking reassurance in their partner. As humans, its natural for all of us to have these emotions from time to time. It’s normal and expected. However, when it’s no longer innocent and becomes harmful…nope. Gotta go. If you’re the type (like myself) who, unfortunately, doesn’t have time for alllll that you will have a problem. It won’t work. If you like or don’t mind tip-toeing and ego stroking, this may not be a problem for you. Keep in mind, that you can’t just tell someone to get over their unsettling emotions and stay in the relationship…I (don’t) hate to break it to you, but that’s not gonna fly. Either work through it in a healthy way or bounce.

POSSESSION. POSSESSION. POSSESSION.

No one owns anyone. Why do we make our partners slaves? Holding each other captive. How many of us are all well and good until you get a title?! They claim you and you completely flip the script. Once you become a boyfriend or girlfriend you get Carte Blanche to get all psycho. I don’t know about ya’ll but I’m over that, it’s so exhaustingggg.

It’s time to LIIIIIVE

Now, I know that everyone doesn’t share the same sentiments. Some people out there feel secure when their partners are jealous but uhh…not me. I feel like I can’t breef. Being with someone is supposed to enhance your life! Add some zest! It gives you someone to share experiences with, both bad and good. Your relationship will be complicated enough as it is, dont make it harder by trying to nurse a branding mark that’s taking far too long to heal. Know what I mean?

Lotts of Love,

Dom xx

#NoStandards ❀

One thought on “Jealousy & Relationships: Perfect for Each Other?

  1. tiffaniitreats says:

    This is real. This is some real S*** right here!

    People’s definition of what it means to be in a relationship needs to change. We live in a society where people will say things like, “If s(he)s not jealous then they don’t really love you.”

    And statements like that are accepted!!

    I mean, we all have probably done stuff that leans heavily on the side of crazy in the name of possession and that person being “mine”. And at some point I think conversations and post like this are very relevant to a healthy future and productive society. This mentality is a type of slavery. We don’t own people’s bodies and we definitely need to stop trying to own their time and minds as well.

    It all somehow morphs into the how-to of relationships. Which leaves very little room for maneuvering.

    I love this post because it is most definitely going to put some people in their feelings. As what tends to happen when you speak the truth and challenge the status quo! But hey challenge on cuz…

    #nostandards

    Like

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