Him: “Hey girl, I’m ready to settle down.”
Her: “Uhh…good for you?”
I want to take a quick second to chat about something that may be an unpopular topic but hey, my blog my opinions my topics. It appears that we as women are making a shift. I see it within my friends and in my environment. It’s even gotten to the point where men are feeling some type of way and saying that we aren’t “loyal like we used to be” or that we are “too busy out here being [promiscuous] to have a man.” I chose to use the word promiscuous here, I’ll keep it chill, but you know the real.
Maybe we’re just…busy? No?
So here’s the deal. We shouldn’t have to explain ourselves but here we go. All women aren’t trying to lock down every single man that we spend time with, nor put all of our eggs in one basket (no pun intended). Believe it or not, we can be comfortable with “just dating” too.
As a twenty-fabulous woman with twenty-fabulous besties, I’m well aware of the misconception sprinkling around the world of relationships:
As soon as he’s ready, she’s ready.
This ain’t your mama’s generation guys. We’re busy now. We’re no longer sitting up at our window, or worse, sleeping through life and waiting to be saved. Think: less Sleeping Beauty, more Brave. We’re a new breed of power women who want to be established and have our goals accomplished before we give ourselves to you completely. This is not to “emasculate” you or whatever excuse you have. But we refuse to only dine from your plate while ours remains empty. It’s 2017 and we’re coming with steak, potatoes, biscuits and a tall glass of greatness. Does that intimidate you?
Historically, it’s been common for the dating period to essentially be a time when we wait for men to decide that they no longer want to be a playboy and then (yay!) they want to get serious. How comfortable would men be doing the same for us? Hell, there are men out there who would write a woman off as immature, promiscuous, and ungrateful just because she’s not focused on being exclusive. I would like to think that there are men out there who understand that women these days may need some time alone as well. We have life and career goals where being a wife or even a girlfriend isn’t at the top of the list. Sorry…not sorry.
BE ENCOURAGED LADIES. There isn’t anything wrong with choosing you. My mother has been “mothering” and “wifing” for 30 years and she has let me in on a secret. The time you have before marriage and children could be the last opportunity that you have to choose yourself. At least for a good chunk of your life. So take your time, there are men who will not only respect your stance, but they will admire it. And if I can take a break from being Dom to be frank, any man that has a problem with you wanting to live your life is weak. Think about that. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel like you aren’t a proper woman because you are living your life deliberately.
A woman can do whatever she wants to do, as long as she’s not hurting anyone.
With that said, do your thing girl! We are a generation of women who are ready to take on the challenges that have been placed in front of us, with or without him 🙂
Lotts of Love,