Holy moly it’s been a whiiiile! Guys I have just been so incredibly busy doing things that I’m not passionate about to pay for the things that I am passionate about. Issa struggle grind. However, here I am with some new content and more pieces of my life to share…excuse my thoughts if they’re all over the place that’s just what it looks like right now…
I’ve had to let go of many things this year. I mean that both literally and figuratively. In early May of this year it was like one day I was in Boston unwinding from my U.K. experience and the next day (actually 4 days later) I had to pack up whatever my Jetta could hold, put the rest in storage and drive home to California. So here I sit..back in my family home. Letting go of privacy, independence and definitely some pride. But that’s life sometimes ain’t it?
Because I’ve decided to call San Diego home again, I also had to transfer during what should have been my final year of school…let go of some course credits during the transfer as well…*sigh*…but I keep telling myself that it will all be worth it.
While I have you here, let’s also chat real quick about letting go on Instagram. Like the “real real” that bloggers don’t talk about. Being a blogger, particularly fashion or beauty, can make you very insecure…again…this can make you VERY INSECURE. The need for comments and likes and followers can be intense and make you question your self worth. Other bloggers may have an alternate experience and that’s fantastic but I said what I said and I stand by it. I’m thinking that maybe I should delve into this deeper in another post…I have SO MUCH to say about it. But I digress, the IG experience has been overwhelming at times but realizing that my current audience is what I have, my influence is where it needs to be and there are greater things ahead for me, means that I can finally let all of that extra shit go…
Last but certainly not least…I left my longest and most intense love in Boston. We had been apart for a little while but deciding to move home really meant that it was time to let the existence of “us” and that connection go as well, once and for all…despite the seemingly immeasurable amount of love that we share(d). I remember last January wanting so badly to go home when we were in the process of splitting up. I couldn’t bring myself to leave. Us being apart just wasn’t enough. It’s funny how life will force a decision for you when it’s time, right? Precisely why you have to release a lil bit of that control. Realize that in order to grow into who we are meant to be we must continuously shed along the way.
I invite those of you reading this to not be afraid of what the Universe, God, the future (or whatever you believe) has for you. We aren’t aware of the plan and this is frightening. Trust me, I’ve been scared shitless all year as I get closer to defining who I am. When it looks like everything is falling apart right in front of you just remember that things fall apart just before it all comes together. Let the past go so that you can receive your next gift.
Lotts and Lotts and Lotts of Love,